"Well, that's brain damage!" -Bill Cosby

I love me some Bill Cosby.  Love him.  He totally cracks me up.  There are some days where ALL I can think about is this segment of his, "Himself" DVD.  Today was one of those days for sure.  Here's the clip if you've never seen it before.  My version is below...




We eat breakfast in our classrooms every morning since so many of our kids eat it at school.  So I looked up from checking folders and one of my second graders was rubbing his biscuit on his face.  {Maybe the flaky biscuits are great for exfoliating?} 

Me: Why are you rubbing your biscuit on your face?
Pillsbury Dough Boy: I don't know...
Me: Well please don't do it anymore.  Eat your food, don't play with it.

Fast forward not even two minutes.  Look up.  Biscuit on face AGAIN.

Me: WHY are you rubbing the biscuit on your face AGAIN?
Pillsbury Dough Boy: I don't know...
Me: What did I tell you two minutes ago?
Pillsbury Dough Boy: Not to rub my biscuit on my face.
Me: Then WHY are you still doing it?
PDB: I don't know...

According to Mr. Cosby, that's brain damage!

Then we're working in stations and an argument erupts because "she looked at me."  Oh, the horror.  I'm all, "Keep your eyes on your work and not on your neighbor."  And the kids are all, "But she looked at me first."  And I'm like, "Just stop.  Don't look at anyone.  And don't breathe in her air either."  

According to Mr. Cosby, that is why my face looks the way it does.  {So does that mean worker's comp will cover Botox?}

Oh but wait, there's more!  WHY do I have to repeat directions eleventy million times?  Seriously.  I'm sweet as pie the first time.  Nice the second time.  Then it's over. 

Scene: on the carpet during calendar with my kinderfriends...

Sweet as Pie Me, singing: "Are you criss cross, are you criss cross, hands in your lap, hands in your lap?  We are sitting quietly, we are sitting quietly, ready for math, ready for math."

{Three children STILL sitting on their knees, blocking the view for those behind them.}

Nice Me: "I still have some friends who are not sitting criss cross applesauce."

{My kindness has zero effect on these children.}

Me: Sit down.  On your bottom.  Sit down.  Sit down.  ON YOUR BOTTOM.  SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT....NOW!!!!!!

Whew.  I'm out of energy.  All because of this phenomenon Bill Cosby has coined as "brain damage".  And apparently all kids suffer.  I really think maybe we, the parents and teachers, suffer more than the kids because we put up with it!

(Disclaimer: I am so very aware that brain damage is real.  And I do not think actual brain damage is funny.  At all.  And I would be offended if the joke was about people who truly suffer from it.  However, this specific type of "brain damage" is kinda funny...you have to admit.)

Please feel free to share your "brain damage" stories!