The one with gas, sad vocal chords, and a freebie

It feels like it's been forever since I've written a real blog post!  I have missed catching up with everyone.  I'm about to make a BIG DENT in my Google Reader.  Hope they have good insurance...  {I know.  I think I'm so funny.  It's sad.  Laugh anyway.} 

The children have been keeping me busy and cracking me up.  Bless their hearts.  They must know that if they didn't keep me laughing all day, I'd pull out my hair.  We've recently had some uh, gassy issues.  Last week there was the WYDTIFOJB incident. {I'm working on bracelets for all my party people.}  The very next day I was able to use that line on a kindergarten darling who totally let loose and ripped one on my carpet.  Like I think I saw her lift up off her spot on the carpet.  It was ferocious.  And of course everyone had to hold their noses and express their disdain for the fact that this {seemingly sweet} little girl just polluted their air.  I was trying to maintain my composure because I'm five just like them and can't help but laugh when someone passes gas and I looked back to see my assistant's head turned around, shoulders shaking with laughter.  {So relieved that I'm not the only immature adult in the room.}  I fought the urge to crack up and started to explain to the class that everyone does it and there's no reason why we should carry on like that.  All of a sudden, out of nowhere, one of them screamed out, "IT'S ALL THE BEANS!"  At that point, it was over for me.  It's all the beans...  It's time for me to have a serious chat with our cafeteria manager.  Smells Sounds Seems like we need to back away from the beans for a while.

Fast forward to today, when I woke up with NO VOICE.  Doesn't my body know how much I love to talk?  That is why I became a teacher, after all.  You know, so I would have a good excuse for yakking all day long and have a captive audience 5 days a week, 7 hours a day {Although, that's still nowhere near as much air time as the Kardashians...}.  Luckily my wonderful assistant taught kindergarten for me, so I just had to find a way to make it through first and second grade.  I struggled with my sweet firsties.  They took full advantage of the fact that I had to walk to them to correct their behavior.  I wised up with second grade though.  I gave them gum.  Magical gum.  Gum that would keep their mouths busy so they wouldn't need to talk.  And guess what?  Silence.  And amazingly wonderful behavior.  For almost two hours.  Aaahhhhh....  I will have to break out that magical gum more often.  But then it would probably lose its power.  I'm going to stay home tomorrow to rest my voice so that I can hopefully chat it up non-stop again on Friday.  Send vocal chord healing vibes my way, please. 
Finally, here's a little prize for you!  My second graders can always use extra practice with place value.  Here's a fun little activity you can do where they have to put the digits in the correct order and write the three digit number on the line.  Some of you may be able to use this with your first graders.

Grab your copy here!  Have a wonderful Thursday.  And think of me when you want to scream, "If I have to tell you one more time..."  Because right now, I would so welcome the opportunity to say something one more time.  When I finally get my voice back, I may end up talking to myself.  I might have to get on here and post my phone number when it starts working again.  You guys would call me so I wouldn't have to talk to myself, right?!