Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The one with gas, sad vocal chords, and a freebie

It feels like it's been forever since I've written a real blog post!  I have missed catching up with everyone.  I'm about to make a BIG DENT in my Google Reader.  Hope they have good insurance...  {I know.  I think I'm so funny.  It's sad.  Laugh anyway.} 

The children have been keeping me busy and cracking me up.  Bless their hearts.  They must know that if they didn't keep me laughing all day, I'd pull out my hair.  We've recently had some uh, gassy issues.  Last week there was the WYDTIFOJB incident. {I'm working on bracelets for all my party people.}  The very next day I was able to use that line on a kindergarten darling who totally let loose and ripped one on my carpet.  Like I think I saw her lift up off her spot on the carpet.  It was ferocious.  And of course everyone had to hold their noses and express their disdain for the fact that this {seemingly sweet} little girl just polluted their air.  I was trying to maintain my composure because I'm five just like them and can't help but laugh when someone passes gas and I looked back to see my assistant's head turned around, shoulders shaking with laughter.  {So relieved that I'm not the only immature adult in the room.}  I fought the urge to crack up and started to explain to the class that everyone does it and there's no reason why we should carry on like that.  All of a sudden, out of nowhere, one of them screamed out, "IT'S ALL THE BEANS!"  At that point, it was over for me.  It's all the beans...  It's time for me to have a serious chat with our cafeteria manager.  Smells Sounds Seems like we need to back away from the beans for a while.

Fast forward to today, when I woke up with NO VOICE.  Doesn't my body know how much I love to talk?  That is why I became a teacher, after all.  You know, so I would have a good excuse for yakking all day long and have a captive audience 5 days a week, 7 hours a day {Although, that's still nowhere near as much air time as the Kardashians...}.  Luckily my wonderful assistant taught kindergarten for me, so I just had to find a way to make it through first and second grade.  I struggled with my sweet firsties.  They took full advantage of the fact that I had to walk to them to correct their behavior.  I wised up with second grade though.  I gave them gum.  Magical gum.  Gum that would keep their mouths busy so they wouldn't need to talk.  And guess what?  Silence.  And amazingly wonderful behavior.  For almost two hours.  Aaahhhhh....  I will have to break out that magical gum more often.  But then it would probably lose its power.  I'm going to stay home tomorrow to rest my voice so that I can hopefully chat it up non-stop again on Friday.  Send vocal chord healing vibes my way, please. 
Finally, here's a little prize for you!  My second graders can always use extra practice with place value.  Here's a fun little activity you can do where they have to put the digits in the correct order and write the three digit number on the line.  Some of you may be able to use this with your first graders.

Grab your copy here!  Have a wonderful Thursday.  And think of me when you want to scream, "If I have to tell you one more time..."  Because right now, I would so welcome the opportunity to say something one more time.  When I finally get my voice back, I may end up talking to myself.  I might have to get on here and post my phone number when it starts working again.  You guys would call me so I wouldn't have to talk to myself, right?!


Lisa Lizak and Beth Wright said...

This is so great! Thanks for always sharing such great ideas :) Have a great night :)

Lisa :)
Made In The Shade In Second Grade

Mrs. Shelton said...

You're not right!

Kindergarten Korner

Kim said...

When I feel like laughing, I always tell the kids I have to look for something in a closet or a cupboard. Then I try and laugh really fast, and return back to them. More than once a child has asked, "Why are you crying?" Laughing that hard does that to me. And I always forget about the evidence!

Thanks for the chuckle (I really needed one today!)

Finding JOY in 6th Grade

Unknown said...

Mmm...magic gum! Love it!
First Grade Blue Skies

Kristin said...

I always laugh, too. Can't help it!!! :)
Thanks for the freebie!
Hope your voice comes back soon!
A Teeny Tiny Teacher

Unknown said...

Funny....actually hilarious!! Hope your voice comes back soon! :)

Ann Marie said...

I have laughed and laughed about the gas. I am 46 yrs old, and still laugh (inside mostly, or in the hallway) when it happens in my classrooms. I even had to read your post to my husband (he wondered why I was laughing so hard), so we could both laugh out loud (trying not to wake up our 7yr old!). Anyway, thanks for the laugh....we both needed it! The freebie is wonderful, too! Thanks for sharing!!!

❃ Ann Marie
ABCs and 123s 4 me

Kelley Cirrito said...

This is super! Thanks for sharing!!

Emily said...

"I'm sorry, but farts are funny." ~Second Grade darling, 2010

Jennifer said...

Feel better....You need to have a Mark Whalberg Marathon tomorrow. I'm CERTAIN it would make you feel better!

One year I had a mystery farter. It was BAD. Like I had a can of Oust next to me at all times. Finally one day I said, "Whoever you are- something AIN'T right! Tell your mom you have to go to the doctor." And then I told them all if they had to fart to fart in the hall because I just couldn't take it anymore!

Rowdy in First Grade

Cupcake said...

Magical gum? Amazing!

A Cupcake for the Teacher

Primary Junction said...

I love this Valentine Values Freebie. Thank you!

Primary Junction

Team Darley said...

thanks for the freebie!!!

Come on over and check out my freebie and giveaway for this week! :)

Chelsea Rose said...

So sad I couldn't make it to the blog meet up! You'll have to tell me all about it! I tagged you in a post on my site! Check it out! :)

Miller's Flip Flops said...

"I follow all 23 blogs." So much Fun!!! (2nd Grade Teacher)

Team Darley said...

I know I already told you I lOVE your stuff but I also wanted to tell you I tagged you on my blog so come by and check it out :)