I'm a scaredy cat. Always have been, always will be.
When I was little, Santa came to visit me at my grandparent's house and it was such a terrifying event for me that I would ask, "Ho Ho coming?", anytime I walked past their front door for a long time after that fateful Christmas day.
As a teenager, when all of my friends were getting their driver's licenses, I was bumming rides because I was absolutely petrified of being behind the wheel. I know, right? Way weird. I didn't get my license until I was 18. Maybe even 19. I don't remember exactly when. All I remember is that it took threats of being forced to use city transportation from my parents before I broke down and learned how to drive the route from home to school to work. I've gotten better about driving, but I still don't drive unfamiliar roads and I definitely don't turn across traffic or drive on the busiest street in town. I know...the crazy--it runs deep.
My friend Jennifer over at
Rowdy in First Grade keeps after me to see the movie Fear because she thinks I need some more exposure to Mark Wahlberg... Well, I'm afraid to see that movie because it's called Fear. HELLO?! I'm afraid. Why would I want to watch something called Fear?! That doesn't make any sense!
Today I was packing up my classroom and I came across this book:
I should probably start calling myself The Little Young Lady Who Was Afraid of Everything. My Nana gave it to me when I was in kindergarten. Now, the majority of my classroom library consists of books given to me by my Nana. She was a kindergarten teacher. And like any good kindergarten teacher, she gives books for gifts. And they all have inscriptions. This is what's inside:
And as I sat there with that book, those words, and the boxes, I realized...
I am brave.
Brave enough to take a risk.
Brave enough to change.
Brave enough to do something for myself.
Brave enough to start a new chapter.
Brave enough to leave teaching. Which is something I never thought I would do. I've been a teacher since I was four years old, with stuffed animal students and lessons that were a repeat of whatever my preschool teacher had done that day.
But sometimes things change. I resigned from my teaching job a couple of weeks ago to take a new position as a behavior therapist. I'm going to spend my days working one on one with special needs children. And I couldn't be happier about the change. I wasn't actively searching for something else. It just fell in my lap. In such a way that I couldn't say no.
There is such a bittersweetness to these last few days of school. I am so excited to start something new. But I am so sad to leave my babies and the girls who have truly become my family over the past three years. And I'm probably going to suffer from withdrawals during back to school shopping time. But like I said, I am excited and it truly was laid out in such a way that saying no would have led to regrets. And I'm way too young to have any of those.
Ms. Preppy definitely won't be dealing in primary anymore. But I'm sure I will have plenty of kid stories to share and maybe even some resources that I use with my therapy kiddos. And I have some other blogging/writing plans in the works right now! But I couldn't keep you guys in the dark any longer about this big change! I hope it kind of explains some of my absence around here. Wrapping up the school year and trying to pack everything up is just wearing me out! Will you guys come over for a packing party? I need some help. Because you see, I'm also afraid of throwing things away...
